The birth of Zacharias started several weeks before he finally landed in my arms. It was a spiritual journey into myself and a very intense inner work before my body, mind and spirit could fully open up and let go of him and guide him earthside.
I had actually believed and felt guided that I would give birth around week 37. So when I started having the first contractions at that time, I was convinced that I was right. But it would be almost 3 more weeks before delivery came.

On the night of November 16th, I wake up like so many nights before, around 4 am, and feel a contraction. I get up and go to the bathroom. I try to dismiss the fact that this contraction is actually a contraction, because I can't bear the disappointment of thinking that there is a birth in the works that is just going to go on by itself again and again.
But when an hour later I have to admit that the few contractions that had been there are actually a lot more intense than they usually are, I get up and go into the living room, where I sit down with my knitting, a cup of tea and candles.

I start timing the contractions and recording how intense they are. I haven't experienced latency before, as the other two births started with water breaking and went straight into active labor, so it's completely strange and a bit surreal to experience these strong contractions but with 12-15-20 minute intervals.

Around 6am the house starts to wake up and I can feel the interval between contractions getting longer. I tell my husband that maybe something is going on but that I don't feel like thinking about actual labor yet. We decide to drive the morning away as usual and thus send the kids off to kindergarten and school. During breakfast I don't have a single contraction and I think once again that it was a fluke. At a quarter to seven I kiss the kids and husband goodbye and start cleaning up. Just 5 minutes after they've driven away I have a contraction. A strong one. And then another. And another. I go to the toilet and when I wipe I see spotting. YES! I shout! I look at myself in the mirror and say "game on".

I send a text message to my husband and tell him to just come home when the kids are dropped off, because now I'm safe.
It's a good hour before he gets home and in the meantime the contractions have become almost regular, although still at 10 minute intervals. I boil a lot of water and put it in thermoses and cups because our hot water tank isn't very big.
At 9:30 when my husband comes home the contractions increase in strength and interval. He tries to fill the tub as fast as he can because now the contractions really hurt and come regularly. At 9:45 I get in the water. Oh, the relief.

We call the photographer, who says she can be there at half past 11. I hope she makes it, because last time I only had contractions for 3.5 hours.

We had actually planned a Free Birth (birth without a midwife) (ed. Eyajohanne is a trained midwife herself) , where my mother and my doula friend were supposed to be there. My mother to help and be there for the children and my doula friend to support and help me and my husband. But of all days, they are both unable to.
My mother is on a plane to London to celebrate my niece's 2nd birthday and my friend's husband can't look after their children because of the local elections, as he works for TV. So suddenly we have no helpers. We are considering whether we should let the children stay at school/kindergarten, even though they have both clearly expressed that they would like to be here during the birth. And then we are considering whether we should call a midwife anyway. I notice that the birth is different and more intense than the other two and we therefore decide to call Hillerød at 10 am. All these practical considerations make my contractions calm down a bit again...

At the same time, I feel a great longing for the children to be here. I cry and feel it is completely wrong if they are not here when little brother is born. My husband calls the school and asks them to send big brother Valdemar home on foot. He calls the kindergarten and asks if the director of the institution can/will drive August home in any way - it is a 25-minute trip each way. She wants to. I cry with joy and feel the contractions start again.

At 10:30 my big son walks in the door. A huge smile greets me and a kiss on the forehead. He has been SO excited. He was also there when August was born 3 years ago.
The contractions wash over me and I have to cling to my husband several times. I examine myself internally and notice that I am only 3-4 cm dilated, a little tight and rigid at the edge of the cervix. A large taut amniotic membrane with water and a baby's head that is completely up in the BI.

At 11:05 the photographer and my little big August arrive at the same time. I will never forget seeing his eyes shining with joy and anticipation❤️🥰

Shortly after, I feel a strong sense of unease take over me and I can feel that I have to get out of the tub. The experience from the other two births tells me that this is the stage where I suddenly open up quickly and will probably give birth soon.
I'm practically dancing around, stomping, jumping and twisting my hips. It's super intense and hurts like hell, but because I've experienced it with my other two births, I'm not scared. I feel a sense of calm and confidence that the birth is coming to an end.

At 11:40 the midwife arrives from the hospital. Really sweet and respectful. She has read my wishes in the medical record and asks permission or checks in with me on what I want or need.
At 12:30 the contractions change character and I can breathe in a completely different way now. I jump in the tub and experience how the interval gets longer while the contractions get stronger. In my midwife head and with the experience from my previous births I think "perfect - then I'm in the transition phase". I even tell my husband. That I expect the pushing phase to approach. I feel a light pressure in the back during contractions and just feel happy at the thought.
I check myself again and I can feel that I am now almost completely dilated. There is only a small edge in front behind the pubic bone. His head is still in the BI but the water balloon is almost reaching the pelvic floor. That is what gives me the slight pressure sensation. In my head I think that we are just waiting for the water to break and then he will come flying.

At 12:45 I examine myself again. No change inside. I have doubts about what I have felt inside, because the contractions are becoming more painful again. I am afraid that he will not be able to come out at all or that this pain will continue for hours. I therefore ask the midwife to examine me properly - on land. So I get out of the tub and lie down on the couch.
She confirms what I have felt myself: Almost completely open, one edge in front, taut membranes and a baby's head in the pelvic inlet.
While the midwife examines me, my water breaks in the middle of a contraction. Clear water. Nice heartbeat. She tries to push the edge forward during a contraction, but it won't move.
I get up again. Next to the tub. It's 1:16 p.m., the pain is unbearable and I'm panicking. I shout that it feels wrong. Like he can't be there. My hips feel like they're going to break into a thousand pieces and it's tearing at the front of my pubic bone. I think we're going to have to go to the hospital because he's not coming.
I get on all fours on the floor, leaning over the edge of the tub, while my husband holds me upright from behind and the midwife squeezes my hips hard.

The midwife tries to calm me down and assure me that it will be okay. She recommends that we try to push the edge away again. I agree with her but there is no way I can physically move from the position I am in. I feel trapped. After 3-4 contractions like this, I decide to try to push the edge myself.

At 1:28 p.m. I insert two fingers and manage to keep the edge away for the next 2 contractions. I feel his head rotating and at the same time pushing himself forward and down. I get a strong urge to push. I just have to get in that tub now.
At 1:32 PM I get in the tub while yelling "he's coming now!!!!"

My older son comes running, trying to get his little brother to come with him, but he doesn't want to.

I gasp as hard as I can because I can feel my little brother just coming flying. The head is born and there is a short pause in labor. I can feel him rotating his shoulder behind my pubic bone and I tell him "come out - you can do it". I pry him free and out he swims completely calmly into the tub.

I'm completely shocked and can barely focus for the first minute on the fact that he's actually landed. The only thing that fills my mind right now is the pain and the feeling that I'm falling into a thousand pieces below.

After a few breaths I land and can suddenly connect with the little body and soul I have in my arms. The finest, most beautiful little creature.
Upon examination a little later it turns out that I wasn't broken at all. Not a single tear. I'm amazed and grateful.
On the couch, my little brother gets his first sip and when the placenta has come out, I take a piece of it and blend it into a smoothie that I drink.
My husband helps me salt the placenta and put it in my little homemade bag. But unfortunately I don't have the strength to make an impression of her or remove the mother part to have capsules with placenta powder made. All of this should have been helped by my dear friend. It was the wildest and most intense birth of all 3 I've had. Zacharias has told me throughout the pregnancy that everything would be/will be different. He has a very strong and insistent energy that grounds and connects.
He is the strong silent type❤️

Welcome to the world you great wise soul. I am ready for you and our journey together.

Zacharias November 16 at 1:36 p.m

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Eyajohanna is a private practice midwife.

You can find her here:

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