My 3rd birth was magical

By Helena
August 10, 2025

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Both my husband, Daniel, and I have generally been a bit skeptical about home births - both for the typical reasons like risks of complications and cleanup. But in addition, I have probably also subconsciously put "home birthers" in a kind of box. A box I couldn't really see myself in.
When I was pregnant with our second child, we spoke to a midwife at a maternity clinic who actually recommended that we look into a home birth, as the first birth went quickly. We were quickly turned down, as we actually had a nice experience at the hospital. Due to both that and some group B streptococci, we ended up giving birth at the hospital again for the second time. A birth that went well on paper, but where I had a bit of a stomachache afterwards.
I had worked through my contractions well, but it was a fast and intense birth that ended up being very much influenced by the busyness of the hospital. I felt that the birth was influenced too much by the staff around me, and we lost the personal and intimate, despite the fact that we "could" easily do it ourselves.
When we decided to have a third child, I told Daniel early on that I wanted to talk to a homebirth midwife. He agreed - albeit with some skepticism. But after talking to her about both the risks and the practicalities, none of us had any doubts; we were going to be one of those "homebirthers"!


The whole process leading up to the birth was the strangest and safest thing I have ever experienced. We had two regular midwives attached to us who took turns visiting. Come on, we felt so safe with them. I was able to discuss all my wishes with them, and they were both able to read me and what type of person I was as a birthing mother.
I also really enjoyed preparing for the birth. A birth where I could take full control. I read Anne Ruby's book about home births, where she recommends using the senses to promote oxytocin, so in the weeks leading up to the birth I bought a lot of fairy lights, scented oils, a nice mat for the tub, etc.
So when it was time, we were all set at home.

The actual birth started when I woke up to a bang and my water breaking at 3:49 a.m. the night after my due date. Just after I had told Daniel that evening that "now I actually feel ready for him to come" - almost as if he had heard me.
I called my friend, who was to act as a midwife, and my mother, who was to be with our two older children in the meantime. All of my births have started with spontaneous water breaking followed by a storm from the start, so we all agreed not to wait.
But since we weren't going anywhere, I felt no rush to get out the door as I felt the contractions start. I quietly went inside and kissed our two sleeping children, then went downstairs to Daniel, who was busy getting the living room ready for the birth. Everything exuded peace and coziness as he filled tubs, lit candles and fairy lights, and prepared mattresses/mattresses.
I had some oatmeal to recharge before the contractions got stronger and went to help get ready. As the contractions became more frequent and more pronounced, my mother and friend came home. We turned on my playlist and I sat on my yoga ball with the others in the living room. Even though there were many contractions with very short intervals (1 minute in between), I could easily stay in them and chat with the others in the meantime. When they took a while, I decided to call my midwife, who showed up at 5:20 AM.

I talked to the others about the fact that maybe this birth would be a bit longer than the others of 3.5 and 3 hours because the contractions, despite being very frequent, are a bit easier to be in. I'm having contractions on the yoga ball or upright leaning against Daniel, and when they get even worse, I kneel over the yoga ball while Daniel and my friend take turns giving me lumbar thrusts. I didn't want to get in the tub quite yet, because I wanted to be sure I wasn't going too early. But the others had made sure that it was ready with warm water and salt in it.
My midwife is absolutely fantastic and lets me take as much control of the birth as possible, so she checks the heart rate every now and then, but otherwise she sits quietly and writes notes or talks to the others and me. I used Anja Bay's "pain-free birth" technique, and the relaxation and labor contractions really helped me a lot the whole way - it has done so with all 3 of my births. So when I gradually felt that I could use a little help from the warm water with pain management, I asked my midwife to examine me internally to make sure that I didn't go into the water too early. She hadn't examined me up to that point, and when she quickly feels up she says: "yes but you're also 10 cm dilated, so I think you should just get into the water and have him all the way down".

I was very surprised to be completely open, as the contractions had not been harder to be in. But I am convinced that it has made a huge difference not having to stress out, get in a car, run around a hospital and deal with a lot of new people. Admittedly, I think hospital births can be absolutely fantastic, but I was surprised at how much more calm my body had at home in safe and calm surroundings.

When I got into the tub, our older children also started to wake up, taking turns coming down to say hello, give me a hug, and hold my hand, after which they went upstairs with their grandmother and sat in the bedroom watching cartoons.
I really got to use my breathing, relaxation and visualization during the transition contractions, and when I started to report a little downward pressure, my midwife just asked me to feel how far down he was. Again, it was both surprising and liberating for me to experience such calm and confidence in myself, and that I could do it myself. At the same time, I also had no doubt that she was only asking me to do it myself because she knew that I had a great desire to take ownership of the birth.

When I tell her that I'm starting to feel the urge to push, I wait a bit for some kind of permission and explanation of when and how much I should push, but instead I'm met with: "Well, you just do what your body tells you to do."

Then I start pushing with my contractions. I get on my knees, pull my chin down to my chest, my hand down to feel my son and guide him into the water. In the same push as the head came out, the upper body also comes out and stops there. It was a really amazing experience to be able to have a minute to look down at him in the water, pet his head, make eye contact with Daniel and say "it's Sigurd", after which I could quietly pull him up the water and up to me. At 7:12 our Sigurd was born in the living room at home.

Tears rolled down both Daniel and me - and even the midwife had to admit that they were hard to hold back.

All my births have been amazing in their own way. This third and final birth, however, was something very special - both because of the process leading up to it, the birth itself, the amazing people around us, and the time after, when our older children set the birthday table with homemade buns and cake, and where we could stay home without having to think about anything else but enjoying our first time as a family.