I have been curious and happy to read about other people's birth experiences, and I hope that others, especially men, can feel more prepared to give birth at home by reading my story.

My girlfriend had been going through a few days of labor and had been experiencing contractions for several nights in a row, each time waning without any results. The frustration was great when we went to bed with no sign that our baby was coming.

I was woken up a little after 4 am when my girlfriend was 40+1 and had been having contractions since 2 am. This time they hadn't stopped, and it was possible that labor was on its way.

At 5am I called the midwife to inform her of the situation. We had a calm conversation and she arrived at 7am to check on my girlfriend, who turned out to be 2-3cm dilated. We were thrilled with the news, as labor had started this time. The midwife briefly made another visit so we could relax just the two of us at home. She returned at 9am and discovered that my girlfriend was 5cm dilated. We worked through the contractions together, with my girlfriend controlling her breathing, which she had been practicing, and me applying pressure to her hips and lower back to ease the pain.

We continued in the way that worked best for us for several hours. Around noon, the midwife determined that my girlfriend was 8 cm dilated. She was now deeply focused on her inner process and had gone completely into herself. In the meantime, I had prepared the birthing tub that we had rented, and the midwife suggested that my girlfriend could go into the tub. I had originally planned to stand or sit next to the tub and support my girlfriend by holding her and holding her hand and supporting her as she needed, but I jumped into the tub with her almost immediately so that I could continue to support her as best I could by pressing on her hips and lower back. I tried every conceivable position to be able to maintain the pressure despite the acid and fatigue in my arms.

We were in the delivery room for almost 2 hours, and I experienced a bit of everything. A hemorrhoid, her rectum, which was coming out, a little stool, and blood. It was borderline, but I didn't focus on it during the process, as it wasn't about that, but about me supporting my girlfriend and relieving her pain. The most important thing was that I also got the opportunity to experience the entire pushing phase so closely. Seeing our baby's head slowly emerge and then slide back into my girlfriend's body again several times was a sight I will never forget. I will never regret being a part of experiencing this. First I could see a small tuft of hair, then a bit of the forehead, and then the rest of the head. There were only 2-3 more pushing contractions left, and when the baby came out, I had been instructed to help put our daughter up in my girlfriend's arms. I was there the whole way, and I had the honor of revealing the gender and was subsequently involved in cutting the umbilical cord and weighing the baby.
If there are any men out there who are wondering whether to choose a home birth, I would recommend you to jump in and do it. It was the most amazing and peaceful birth imaginable under the circumstances. I highly recommend giving birth at home!

I have 4 pieces of advice for men facing childbirth:

1. If you are nervous about a home birth, read about it, attend a meeting to prepare, do exercises and listen to your partner who wants to give birth at home.

2. Agree on what is expected of you and what you can try to do during the birth. For example, that you are responsible for calling the midwife, providing drinks/food for your girlfriend/wife and giving a massage, but be prepared that nothing can be predicted and things can change and agreements can be broken, as it is a special situation you are in.

3. Be prepared to get some scolding. When your woman is in labor and about to give birth, she probably doesn't have the energy to speak in long sentences and be polite.

4. Do what seems obvious in the situation and jump into it. I was surprised by where I was during labor. Once you're in it, it's just about daring to go out where you might not have intended to be. It's about welcoming your baby and supporting your partner.